A 31-year-old African American man with a good
job paid a high-end service $5,000 to find him a White girl. Cosmopolitan
magazine followed what happened next. This is his journal:
Saturday
3 p.m.: I travel a lot for work, and I’ve been
trying a long-distance thing with a girl from another country for the past
couple months. I met her through a friend, and we exchanged numbers — now we
talk or text almost daily.
I started up this long-distance flirtation
because it seems like women in Minneapolis are not looking for long-term
relationships. Many of them are overly career-driven, or have a plan to get
married later in life and have children later (or do not want children). The
long-distance thing is nothing official, but today we texted for about an hour
and talked about my visit — I’m going to see her next week.
8 p.m.: I met a girl I set up a date with for
dinner and drinks downtown. She’s nice, but not really my type. We talked for
two hours, but I didn’t feel any physical chemistry with her. It could be
because I’m more interested in the girl from another country.
10 p.m.: We hugged and did the typical “I’ll talk
to you soon,” but in all honesty, I won’t see her again.
Sunday
11 a.m.: I didn’t do much. Just texted the
long-distance girl on and off, and swiped on Bumble for a little. Don’t know
why, but I also checked my old Match.com
profile. No new messages. I’ve been on that site for three years, sent maybe
200 messages to different women, and have not received a single response or
message. I don’t think it works well for minority men, but I still try.
The dating scene in Minneapolis is very tough if
you are trying to date outside of your race. I’m a minority, and women say they
are open to interracial relationships, but after a few dates, that changes. I
know some black men who have had success on Blackpeoplemeet.com, but I have not
tried that.
Monday
10 a.m.: Traveling for work. I’m usually on the
road three to four days a week. It has made dating challenging, because it’s
harder to schedule time to meet someone. It’s also a turn-off for some girls;
they don’t want to date someone who will be away so much. I messaged the
long-distance girl a little and talked about our days.
Tuesday
2 p.m.: Still traveling. I checked in with the
dating service I joined in my city back in 2015. It’s a private service, like a
dating coach who also introduces you to women who might be interested in you.
It costs anywhere from $1,500 to $8,000 annually, depending on your membership.
I pay $5,000, but today, nothing. They did tell me not to be pushy with the
long-distance girl though. “Let her come to you.” OK.
Wednesday
4 p.m.: I messaged the girl I went out with over
the weekend to say hi, just to be polite. She never responded. Seems to be a
common theme for me. Go out with these women, show them a good time and pay,
and then never hear from them again. It’s frustrating because it seems like
some of these women are just looking for someone to buy them dinner. You can
usually tell early in the date, but I never ask to split the check — I always
pay the full bill. An average first date in Minneapolis can run you about $100
to $200, so on a monthly basis, I think I average about $1,000 on first dates
alone.
Thursday
9 a.m.: Went to a coffee shop to do some work.
Met a nice girl at the table next to me. She seemed nice. I said hello, and we
talked on and off for about two hours as we worked. Before she left, I said,
“It was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you again… ” and she said, “Probably
not, I don’t think you’re good enough for me.” I hear that a lot from women —
they don’t even know me, but they can tell by speaking to me for an hour or
just looking at me. I have a great job, make six figures, dress well, and have
been described by my girl friends as the “good guy.”
Friday
7 a.m.: Catching my flight to visit the
long-distance girl. I do see a future with her. This is my first attempt at
long distance, and I can say it is tough, and requires a lot of effort and
dedication. Since you don’t have the option of seeing each other all the time,
you have to choose your words carefully.
8 a.m.: At the airport, I checked my Match.com
profile: no responses or matches. Really hope this long-distance thing works
out.
Oh dear. Sounds like somebody is due a refund.
Give this man back his money!
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